Why parenting is very (very, very) hard (Opinion)

Fashion News, Trends, Nigerian fashion, cultures, family, styles, clothing, Africa and Worldwide
Comment
User avatar
ItuGlobal
Senior
Location: ituglobalfx.com.ng
 

August 6th, 2020, 2:59 pm

WHAT THEY FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN

Having children is awful. “Oh, it’s the most precious experience there is!”

Stop the B.S.

A) A one-foot-tall brand new U.S. citizen suddenly moves into your house and you are FORCED to child-proof every object in your life.

B) This one-foot-tall U.S. citizen (and what did she even do to deserve that passport?) doesn’t speak English and yet DEMANDS you understand her 24 hours a day.

Am I psychic? No. Tough!

C) This new roommate you are forced to tolerate cries all the time.

Cries and screams and SCREAMS. You. Can. Not. Shut. Her. Up.

D) If you try to kick her out, the government shows you her 18-year lease that you CANNOT BREAK!

I used to tape lists of seven-letter Scrabble words to my kid’s stroller at 2 a.m. and would have to run for two hours because it was the only way to get that screaming PoS to sleep.

But at least I would get better at Scrabble. “ETESIAN!”

E) This new roommate that you are required to love shits on the floor or shits in her weird plastic pants and expects you to clean it. She will cry for 24 straight hours if you don’t clean it.

If you don’t clean it, she dies.

F) You are expected to feed your new roommate at erratic times all day long and they have less motor control then than someone with no arms and no legs.

G) 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you are required to make sure this one-foot-tall human doesn’t kill themselves by mistake. If they do, then you will go to jail.

H) You have to touch their dirty sh*t-covered genitals when you clean them. Oh yeah, you have to clean them. A lot.

I) At night (if you are a man), your new roommate climbs in bed with the love of your life and sucks on her breasts.

If they were a normal roommate you might kick them out of your house at that point. But then you go to jail.

J) You and your spouse have gone from being “lovers” to being “parents.”

It’s the funnest thing in the world to be a lover. You can watch Game of Thrones all night. You can daydream. You can spend four hours at a bookstore.

Being a parent is about preventing death.

K) Your kid always wants to go to the beach.

You used to go to the beach and look at the ocean and think about how wonderful the planet is. Then read a thick, stupid novel.

Now you go to the beach and all you are allowed to do is prevent this tiny beast from drowning.

L) You have no idea if this one-foot-tall person will turn into someone you like or hate when they are five feet tall.

M) Dance recitals. Hundreds and hundreds of dance recitals with the other 50 million daughters on the planet in line before your daughter’s three seconds.

N) They want dogs. Dogs are similar to babies (sh*tting, crying, needing, puking, etc.) but smarter.

I have two daughters and three stepchildren and one dog.

They are the loves of my life.

Sourcd: https://jamesaltucher.com/blog/what-the ... dren&r=ATC
Father and son
Father and son

Please share...

Buy and sell Perfect Money/Payeer/Epay/Neteller/Skrill: http://www.ituglobalfx.com.ng
User avatar
Dia mon
Senior
 

August 6th, 2020, 3:01 pm

:thnk: not hard for my parents
Follow me on Instagram. Click https://instagram.com/edward_john540?ig ... hcejy0pebg
User avatar
Dube
VIP VIP
Location: Yola
 

August 6th, 2020, 3:29 pm

What is there
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chukwubunna
Twitter- https://www.twitter.com/@Lucky87284882
User avatar
Dia mon
Senior
 

August 6th, 2020, 3:51 pm

Dube wrote:What is there
:thnk: as Hi mom, this article is invalid
Follow me on Instagram. Click https://instagram.com/edward_john540?ig ... hcejy0pebg
User avatar
eMade
VIP VIP
Location: Abuja
 

August 7th, 2020, 5:33 am

There are lots of facts here. Only made fun to read. :good:
Thanks @ItuGlobal
Learn more about ✓ VIP Members: https://www.bestnaija.ng/61848 ✓ Referral: https://www.bestnaija.ng/62508
User avatar
Dia mon
Senior
 

August 7th, 2020, 7:27 am

eMade wrote:There are lots of facts here. Only made fun to read. :good:
Thanks @ItuGlobal
:thnk: I don't see any oo
Follow me on Instagram. Click https://instagram.com/edward_john540?ig ... hcejy0pebg
User avatar
Dia mon
Senior
 

August 8th, 2020, 3:17 am

David kid wrote:There nothing hard here
:clap: help me tell him o
Follow me on Instagram. Click https://instagram.com/edward_john540?ig ... hcejy0pebg
User avatar
Dube
VIP VIP
Location: Yola
 

November 13th, 2020, 10:49 pm

No bi small thing :D:
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chukwubunna
Twitter- https://www.twitter.com/@Lucky87284882
User avatar
Gloria50
VIP VIP
Location: Enugu, Nigeria
 

June 8th, 2021, 10:10 pm

You are right
Telephone
User avatar
Coded20
VIP VIP
Location: Ondo
 

July 1st, 2021, 12:23 am

Issookkay oooo
No Love💔 In The City Just Make Money🤑 And Pray Not To Die Young🙏
Bash888
Senior
Location: Kontagora
 

July 24th, 2021, 8:15 am

Thanks for the update
User avatar
Coded20
VIP VIP
Location: Ondo
 

July 24th, 2021, 9:17 am

Issookkay oooo
No Love💔 In The City Just Make Money🤑 And Pray Not To Die Young🙏
Comment
  • See also...
    Comments
    Views
    Last post
  • Information
  • Online

    Users browsing this section: No members and 1 guest