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#1 » by ItuGlobal (β76.63) » August 6th, 2020, 2:59 pm
WHAT THEY FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN

Having children is awful. “Oh, it’s the most precious experience there is!”

Stop the B.S.

A) A one-foot-tall brand new U.S. citizen suddenly moves into your house and you are FORCED to child-proof every object in your life.

B) This one-foot-tall U.S. citizen (and what did she even do to deserve that passport?) doesn’t speak English and yet DEMANDS you understand her 24 hours a day.

Am I psychic? No. Tough!

C) This new roommate you are forced to tolerate cries all the time.

Cries and screams and SCREAMS. You. Can. Not. Shut. Her. Up.

D) If you try to kick her out, the government shows you her 18-year lease that you CANNOT BREAK!

I used to tape lists of seven-letter Scrabble words to my kid’s stroller at 2 a.m. and would have to run for two hours because it was the only way to get that screaming PoS to sleep.

But at least I would get better at Scrabble. “ETESIAN!”

E) This new roommate that you are required to love shits on the floor or shits in her weird plastic pants and expects you to clean it. She will cry for 24 straight hours if you don’t clean it.

If you don’t clean it, she dies.

F) You are expected to feed your new roommate at erratic times all day long and they have less motor control then than someone with no arms and no legs.

G) 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you are required to make sure this one-foot-tall human doesn’t kill themselves by mistake. If they do, then you will go to jail.

H) You have to touch their dirty sh*t-covered genitals when you clean them. Oh yeah, you have to clean them. A lot.

I) At night (if you are a man), your new roommate climbs in bed with the love of your life and sucks on her breasts.

If they were a normal roommate you might kick them out of your house at that point. But then you go to jail.

J) You and your spouse have gone from being “lovers” to being “parents.”

It’s the funnest thing in the world to be a lover. You can watch Game of Thrones all night. You can daydream. You can spend four hours at a bookstore.

Being a parent is about preventing death.

K) Your kid always wants to go to the beach.

You used to go to the beach and look at the ocean and think about how wonderful the planet is. Then read a thick, stupid novel.

Now you go to the beach and all you are allowed to do is prevent this tiny beast from drowning.

L) You have no idea if this one-foot-tall person will turn into someone you like or hate when they are five feet tall.

M) Dance recitals. Hundreds and hundreds of dance recitals with the other 50 million daughters on the planet in line before your daughter’s three seconds.

N) They want dogs. Dogs are similar to babies (sh*tting, crying, needing, puking, etc.) but smarter.

I have two daughters and three stepchildren and one dog.

They are the loves of my life.

Sourcd: https://jamesaltucher.com/blog/what-the ... dren&r=ATC
images (82).jpeg
Father and son

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(2 Likes)   eMade, Meddy163 liked this topic.
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#2 » by Dia mon (β87.06) » August 6th, 2020, 3:01 pm
:thnk: not hard for my parents

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#3 » by Dube VIP (β1,210.25) » August 6th, 2020, 3:29 pm
What is there

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#4 » by Dia mon (β87.06) » August 6th, 2020, 3:51 pm
Dube wrote:What is there
:thnk: as Hi mom, this article is invalid

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#5 » by eMade (f) VIP (β642.29) » August 7th, 2020, 5:33 am
There are lots of facts here. Only made fun to read. :good:
Thanks @ItuGlobal
Learn more about βCoins: 61200 ✓ VIP Members: 61848 ✓ Referral: 62508

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#6 » by Dia mon (β87.06) » August 7th, 2020, 7:27 am
eMade wrote:There are lots of facts here. Only made fun to read. :good:
Thanks @ItuGlobal
:thnk: I don't see any oo

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#7 » by David kid (β10.84) » August 7th, 2020, 6:02 pm
There nothing hard here

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#8 » by Dia mon (β87.06) » August 8th, 2020, 3:17 am
David kid wrote:There nothing hard here
:clap: help me tell him o

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#9 » by Philomenajolly01 (β13.10) » August 30th, 2020, 6:02 pm
Ummm :thnk: :what:

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#10 » by David kid (β10.84) » October 1st, 2020, 12:44 pm
:yrc:

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#11 » by Meddy163 (β17.20) » October 4th, 2020, 2:06 pm
Nice

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#12 » by Meddy163 (β17.20) » October 4th, 2020, 2:06 pm
Nice

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#13 » by Horlar626 VIP (β112.07) » November 5th, 2020, 6:02 pm
:thnk:
My mistakes my lesson

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#14 » by Delight24 (β2.96) » November 5th, 2020, 6:21 pm
depending..
[album][/album]

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#15 » by Dube VIP (β1,210.25) » November 13th, 2020, 10:49 pm
No bi small thing :D:

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#16 » by chizzy55 (β68.02) » November 19th, 2020, 3:23 pm
:thnk:


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