Is it possible to really forgive a fellow human? Yes! And also really No. The issue of forgiveness is a very serious one. And there's an irony about it. Why?
Because I have realised that it's quite easy to say: I have forgiven! When in real sense, forgiveness is far from the truth. Hold on. Let me explain.
You know, there's this irony about forgiveness that many of us underestimate. This is how it works:
When we err against a fellow man, it's quick to plead: PLEASE, FORGIVE AND FORGET.
And the other party truly may try to forgive. But the 'FORGET' part is the most difficult part. And that creates the irony!
Forgiveness requires 'putting up' with another person who has done wrong against us. This may be easy if we truly want to. The Irony of this is brought about by the fact that EVEN WHEN WE TRULY FORGIVE, ITS HARD TO FORGET!
ITS HARD TO FORGET!
We were all created with a special ability to remember things that happened in the past. If someone wronged you a year ago, and it was really painful, you could put up with them and move on! But would you forget?
You don't easily forget.
This is how I know: if especially you gave room for that wrong to happen, wouldn't you put measures in place to prevent a future occurrence? That's one of the evidences that show that you could really try to forgive, but you cannot guarantee forgetting!
Is that true forgiveness?
Here comes the IRONY!
Our decisions are based on information (data, facts) that we have. Such data or facts or information are earned personally by personal experience or taken from other non-self trusted sources. Now, to make a decision, you review those facts and make conclusions and then act rationally based on them.
The real-life scenario:
Someone behaved stupidly and wronged you. You were hurt. You vowed that you have forgiven and forgotten. Now there is a vacant sensitive senior position that requires tact and maturity. This position comes with benefits and you must nominate someone.
Would you gladly recommend that person? Likely not. Because you couldn't forget! That's the irony!
Each time you remember a wrong, and that recall influences you current decision, my brother, that's not true forgiveness. That's my point!
True forgiveness requires absoluteness! It's partial if it only affects your current physical demeanor but not the real you inside!
How to achieve true forgiveness
Please note this: true forgiveness belongs to the Almighty! Only He is perfect! But we ain't! However, we must imitate Him!
We must forgive one another. We must forgive and try to forget! This is not easy. But here are 2 things that will help!
HOW TO TRULY FORGIVE
1. It's continuous!
We can rarely forget. Don't fight it. But true forgiveness now requires continuous effort to put behind us the wrong, or to each time we remember, put up with that person. Each time you remember! So, it's a continuum!
It's not a one-off thing! You put up with them each time you remember! Take note. Forgetting is not a guarantee. Unless dementia is a concern.
2. Vital ingredient needed: LOVE
To absolutely forgive, you need a vital ingredient. And that's true LOVE.
With love in the equation, you'll continue to have the impetus to put up with a fellow man who especially did not deliberately and/or unrepentantly wronged you!
Love! An unselfish love - will help you put other people's interest even ahead of your own!
That's my point!
REVENGE - It's a no-go area!
I saw a quotation:
Before you embark on a revenge mission, dig 2 graves!
Meaning: REVENGE births no good! It not only hurts the sinner, but the avenger himself surfers severe collateral damage! Don't do it! Don't EVEN think about it!
Put up and move on. You'll even live longer. Smile more and harbour no grudges!
Conclusion
Let's continue to put up with one another as we are all imperfect beings. Let's encapsulate love into every equation.
This alone will go a long way to make the world a better place.
Cheers.
Is it possible to really forgive a fellow human? Yes! And also really No. The issue of forgiveness is a very serious one. And there's an irony about it. Why?
[attachment=0]forgive-love.jpg[/attachment]
Because I have realised that it's quite easy to say: I have forgiven! When in real sense, forgiveness is far from the truth. Hold on. Let me explain.
You know, there's this irony about forgiveness that many of us underestimate. This is how it works:
When we err against a fellow man, it's quick to plead: PLEASE, FORGIVE AND FORGET.
And the other party truly may try to forgive. But the 'FORGET' part is the most difficult part. And that creates the irony!
Forgiveness requires 'putting up' with another person who has done wrong against us. This may be easy if we truly want to. The Irony of this is brought about by the fact that EVEN WHEN WE TRULY FORGIVE, ITS HARD TO FORGET!
ITS HARD TO FORGET!
We were all created with a special ability to remember things that happened in the past. If someone wronged you a year ago, and it was really painful, you could put up with them and move on! But would you forget?
[b]You don't easily forget. [/b]
This is how I know: if especially you gave room for that wrong to happen, wouldn't you put measures in place to prevent a future occurrence? That's one of the evidences that show that you could really try to forgive, but you cannot guarantee forgetting!
[b]Is that true forgiveness?[/b]
Here comes the IRONY!
Our decisions are based on information (data, facts) that we have. Such data or facts or information are earned personally by personal experience or taken from other non-self trusted sources. Now, to make a decision, you review those facts and make conclusions and then act rationally based on them.
[b]The real-life scenario:[/b]
Someone behaved stupidly and wronged you. You were hurt. You vowed that you have forgiven and forgotten. Now there is a vacant sensitive senior position that requires tact and maturity. This position comes with benefits and you must nominate someone.
Would you gladly recommend that person? Likely not. Because you couldn't forget! That's the irony!
Each time you remember a wrong, and that recall influences you current decision, my brother, that's not true forgiveness. That's my point!
True forgiveness requires absoluteness! It's partial if it only affects your current physical demeanor but not the real you inside!
[b]How to achieve true forgiveness[/b]
Please note this: true forgiveness belongs to the Almighty! Only He is perfect! But we ain't! However, we must imitate Him!
We must forgive one another. We must forgive and try to forget! This is not easy. But here are 2 things that will help!
[b]HOW TO TRULY FORGIVE[/b]
1. It's continuous!
We can rarely forget. Don't fight it. But true forgiveness now requires continuous effort to put behind us the wrong, or to each time we remember, put up with that person. Each time you remember! So, it's a continuum!
It's not a one-off thing! You put up with them each time you remember! Take note. Forgetting is not a guarantee. Unless dementia is a concern.
2. Vital ingredient needed: LOVE
To absolutely forgive, you need a vital ingredient. And that's true LOVE.
With love in the equation, you'll continue to have the impetus to put up with a fellow man who especially did not deliberately and/or unrepentantly wronged you!
Love! An unselfish love - will help you put other people's interest even ahead of your own!
That's my point!
[b]REVENGE - It's a no-go area![/b]
I saw a quotation:
[quote]Before you embark on a revenge mission, dig 2 graves![/quote]
Meaning: REVENGE births no good! It not only hurts the sinner, but the avenger himself surfers severe collateral damage! Don't do it! Don't EVEN think about it!
Put up and move on. You'll even live longer. Smile more and harbour no grudges!
Conclusion
Let's continue to put up with one another as we are all imperfect beings. Let's encapsulate love into every equation.
This alone will go a long way to make the world a better place.
Cheers.