Joke Of The Day! [Thread]
- ade22
- Senior
- Location: eko ile
Darrell walks into his doctor's office and the receptionist
gives him a form to fill out and asks him what his problem is.
Darrell replied, I've got something wrong with my pipe."
"Please watch your language!" scolds the receptionist.
"There are women and children in the waiting room."
Darrell leaves the office, only to return a few minutes later
and said to the receptionist, "I've got a problem with my ear."
"Now that's much better," says the receptionist. "What
wrong with your ear?"
"I can't piss out of it!"
*******************************************************
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said
"Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is
pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.
One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and
accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he
neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the
water's edge. He realised he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane,
aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and
went 'bang,bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell
over dead.
Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple
of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly".
*************************************************
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon.
Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation."
He continues, "Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Daisy got pregnant."
"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Daisy got pregnant again."
"Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Daisy didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Daisy with me."
**************************************************
Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a
small town and put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones:
Hysterias and Posteriors."
The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it
to read, "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."
This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the
council,they changed the sign to "Catatonics and High Colonics." No go.
Next, they tried: " Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives." Thumbs down
again.
Then came "Minds and Behinds." Still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes." Unacceptable
again!
So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts." Not a chance.
"Nuts and Butts?" No way.
"Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go.
"Loons and Moons?" Forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with: "Dr. Smith
and Dr. Jones... Odds and Ends."
Everyone loved it!
*****************
gives him a form to fill out and asks him what his problem is.
Darrell replied, I've got something wrong with my pipe."
"Please watch your language!" scolds the receptionist.
"There are women and children in the waiting room."
Darrell leaves the office, only to return a few minutes later
and said to the receptionist, "I've got a problem with my ear."
"Now that's much better," says the receptionist. "What
wrong with your ear?"
"I can't piss out of it!"
*******************************************************
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said
"Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is
pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.
One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and
accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he
neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the
water's edge. He realised he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane,
aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and
went 'bang,bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell
over dead.
Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple
of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly".
*************************************************
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon.
Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation."
He continues, "Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Daisy got pregnant."
"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Daisy got pregnant again."
"Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Daisy didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Daisy with me."
**************************************************
Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a
small town and put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones:
Hysterias and Posteriors."
The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it
to read, "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."
This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the
council,they changed the sign to "Catatonics and High Colonics." No go.
Next, they tried: " Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives." Thumbs down
again.
Then came "Minds and Behinds." Still no good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes." Unacceptable
again!
So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts." Not a chance.
"Nuts and Butts?" No way.
"Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go.
"Loons and Moons?" Forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with: "Dr. Smith
and Dr. Jones... Odds and Ends."
Everyone loved it!
*****************
Please share...
I am who I am...
- AKT
- Senior
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed.
The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, love," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, my bum is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."
She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."
He thinks about it for a bit and then says, "Well, you seem to have perfect eyesight!!!"
The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, love," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, my bum is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."
She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."
He thinks about it for a bit and then says, "Well, you seem to have perfect eyesight!!!"
-
- Newbie
Akpos Joke of the day:
One day death came to a Akpos and said. Akpos today is your day..!!!
“Akpos replied : “But I’m not ready to die….
“Then death said…. “Well there’s nothing I can do because your name is the next one on the list..
“Akpos said : “Okay why don’t you take a seat and I’ll get you something to eat before we go ?
Then death said : “All right” The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it. Death finished eating
and fell into deep sleep.
Akpos took the list and removed his name from the top of the list and put into the bottom of the list.
When death woke up, he said to the guy”mmmm well because you have been so very good to me, I will
start at the bottom of the list..
==================================
Akpos’ mom and her son (Akpos) were riding in a taxi.
Prostitutes were standing at a bus stop.
Akpos’ : Mom, what are these women doing here ?
Akpos’ Mom : They are waiting for their husbands.
Taxi driver : Why don’t you tell him the truth, that they are hookers & have s3x with men for money.
Akpos’ : Is that true Mom ?
Akpos’ Mom : (Glaring hard at the driver) says, YES.
Akpos’ asks : Mom, what happens to the babies these women have ?
. .
. .
Akpos’ Mom : They become taxi drivers…!
One day death came to a Akpos and said. Akpos today is your day..!!!
“Akpos replied : “But I’m not ready to die….
“Then death said…. “Well there’s nothing I can do because your name is the next one on the list..
“Akpos said : “Okay why don’t you take a seat and I’ll get you something to eat before we go ?
Then death said : “All right” The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it. Death finished eating
and fell into deep sleep.
Akpos took the list and removed his name from the top of the list and put into the bottom of the list.
When death woke up, he said to the guy”mmmm well because you have been so very good to me, I will
start at the bottom of the list..
==================================
Akpos’ mom and her son (Akpos) were riding in a taxi.
Prostitutes were standing at a bus stop.
Akpos’ : Mom, what are these women doing here ?
Akpos’ Mom : They are waiting for their husbands.
Taxi driver : Why don’t you tell him the truth, that they are hookers & have s3x with men for money.
Akpos’ : Is that true Mom ?
Akpos’ Mom : (Glaring hard at the driver) says, YES.
Akpos’ asks : Mom, what happens to the babies these women have ?
. .
. .
Akpos’ Mom : They become taxi drivers…!
- akinov
- Junior
The Drinking Competition (JOKE)
Two Communities, Ezeagu and Udi in
Enugu state, decided to hold a drinking
competition. A week to the competition,
ezeagu community sent a delegate,
Emeka Anya, to Udi to confirm if the
competition will still hold. When Emeka,
the delegate got there, the people of
Udi brought 20 litres of their strongest
Nkwu-enu (Local Gin) as Kola. Emeka
asked; "Can I test it?" The people said;
"Go ahead." The guy drank, finished the
whole 20 litres and said; "This is okay,
where is the main drink?" The People of
Udi got scared and shouted; "Come o,
are you among the competitors?."
Emeka replied; "No, I did not qualify."
http://www.akinov.com/2014/12/african-i ... ps_21.html
http://www.akinov.blogspot.com/2014/12/ ... ps_21.html
Two Communities, Ezeagu and Udi in
Enugu state, decided to hold a drinking
competition. A week to the competition,
ezeagu community sent a delegate,
Emeka Anya, to Udi to confirm if the
competition will still hold. When Emeka,
the delegate got there, the people of
Udi brought 20 litres of their strongest
Nkwu-enu (Local Gin) as Kola. Emeka
asked; "Can I test it?" The people said;
"Go ahead." The guy drank, finished the
whole 20 litres and said; "This is okay,
where is the main drink?" The People of
Udi got scared and shouted; "Come o,
are you among the competitors?."
Emeka replied; "No, I did not qualify."
http://www.akinov.com/2014/12/african-i ... ps_21.html
http://www.akinov.blogspot.com/2014/12/ ... ps_21.html
www.akinov.com
Cool to go back through this thread again. Its been a while This fuzz sounds really good Itd be fun to try one in person. Does anyone know what happened with the remakes? Were there ever any more made, other than just a couple of samples?
By the way, you can find more info in my new video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUy9lbSzazw
By the way, you can find more info in my new video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUy9lbSzazw
- RedVampire
- Newbie
read this.....
thepenisinhermouth
.
Now tell me, did u read "the pen is in her mouth? no u dnt, u have a dirty mind
thepenisinhermouth
.
Now tell me, did u read "the pen is in her mouth? no u dnt, u have a dirty mind
- wilfred
- Junior
- Location: http://naijaforum.forum.cool
craziest sh*tAKT wrote:The Worlds Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "will you marry me"?
She replied "No"
And the guy lived happily ever after.
Visit Readblog
go to http://Readblogweb.wordpress.com
go to http://Readblogweb.wordpress.com
- wilfred
- Junior
- Location: http://naijaforum.forum.cool
wahala see gbeduakinov wrote:The Drinking Competition (JOKE)
Two Communities, Ezeagu and Udi in
Enugu state, decided to hold a drinking
competition. A week to the competition,
ezeagu community sent a delegate,
Emeka Anya, to Udi to confirm if the
competition will still hold. When Emeka,
the delegate got there, the people of
Udi brought 20 litres of their strongest
Nkwu-enu (Local Gin) as Kola. Emeka
asked; "Can I test it?" The people said;
"Go ahead." The guy drank, finished the
whole 20 litres and said; "This is okay,
where is the main drink?" The People of
Udi got scared and shouted; "Come o,
are you among the competitors?."
Emeka replied; "No, I did not qualify."
http://www.akinov.com/2014/12/african-individual-chess-championships_21.html
http://www.akinov.blogspot.com/2014/12/african-individual-chess-championships_21.html
Visit Readblog
go to http://Readblogweb.wordpress.com
go to http://Readblogweb.wordpress.com
- makavelli25
- VIP
Holy moly this is dopeAKT wrote:The Worlds Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "will you marry me"?
She replied "No"
And the guy lived happily ever after.
redeem and buy coins at a very good rate. just send a message,I reply in seconds
- green20
- VIP
- Location: Rivers state
udi community is in trobleakinov wrote:The Drinking Competition (JOKE)
Two Communities, Ezeagu and Udi in
Enugu state, decided to hold a drinking
competition. A week to the competition,
ezeagu community sent a delegate,
Emeka Anya, to Udi to confirm if the
competition will still hold. When Emeka,
the delegate got there, the people of
Udi brought 20 litres of their strongest
Nkwu-enu (Local Gin) as Kola. Emeka
asked; "Can I test it?" The people said;
"Go ahead." The guy drank, finished the
whole 20 litres and said; "This is okay,
where is the main drink?" The People of
Udi got scared and shouted; "Come o,
are you among the competitors?."
Emeka replied; "No, I did not qualify."
http://www.akinov.com/2014/12/african-i ... ps_21.html
http://www.akinov.blogspot.com/2014/12/ ... ps_21.html
hahaha
"We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right."
- Tintin
- Senior
Alarm wrote:Akpos Joke of the day:
One day death came to a Akpos and said. Akpos today is your day..!!!
“Akpos replied : “But I’m not ready to die….
“Then death said…. “Well there’s nothing I can do because your name is the next one on the list..
“Akpos said : “Okay why don’t you take a seat and I’ll get you something to eat before we go ?
Then death said : “All right” The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it. Death finished eating
and fell into deep sleep.
Akpos took the list and removed his name from the top of the list and put into the bottom of the list.
When death woke up, he said to the guy”mmmm well because you have been so very good to me, I will
start at the bottom of the list..
==================================
Akpos’ mom and her son (Akpos) were riding in a taxi.
Prostitutes were standing at a bus stop.
Akpos’ : Mom, what are these women doing here ?
Akpos’ Mom : They are waiting for their husbands.
Taxi driver : Why don’t you tell him the truth, that they are hookers & have s3x with men for money.
Akpos’ : Is that true Mom ?
Akpos’ Mom : (Glaring hard at the driver) says, YES.
Akpos’ asks : Mom, what happens to the babies these women have ?
. .
. .
Akpos’ Mom : They become taxi drivers…!
Alarm wrote:Akpos Joke of the day:
One day death came to a Akpos and said. Akpos today is your day..!!!
“Akpos replied : “But I’m not ready to die….
“Then death said…. “Well there’s nothing I can do because your name is the next one on the list..
“Akpos said : “Okay why don’t you take a seat and I’ll get you something to eat before we go ?
Then death said : “All right” The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it. Death finished eating
and fell into deep sleep.
Akpos took the list and removed his name from the top of the list and put into the bottom of the list.
When death woke up, he said to the guy”mmmm well because you have been so very good to me, I will
start at the bottom of the list..
==================================
Akpos’ mom and her son (Akpos) were riding in a taxi.
Prostitutes were standing at a bus stop.
Akpos’ : Mom, what are these women doing here ?
Akpos’ Mom : They are waiting for their husbands.
Taxi driver : Why don’t you tell him the truth, that they are hookers & have s3x with men for money.
Akpos’ : Is that true Mom ?
Akpos’ Mom : (Glaring hard at the driver) says, YES.
Akpos’ asks : Mom, what happens to the babies these women have ?
. .
. .
Akpos’ Mom : They become taxi drivers…!